Tell Your Daughter - Perfectionism Can Cripple Careers!

I was shocked.

Perfectionism was crippling his daughter’s career!

A very good friend of mine, a fellow expert, author, and speaker (let’s call him Stew) asked me if I would meet his young daughter, Alice who’s just graduated. She’s an amazing performance artist; she dances, she’s creative, she’s brilliant at acting, she sings, and she’s really keen to start her career. 

Stew asked me to share my own experience of how I got into the “Meed-ya” (the media darling, TV, radio, the BBC) after I left college.

Many people are put off before they even start because of the competitive nature of it. I wasn’t. But I spent years working for little or no money to get my break!

It got me thinking about my own daughter, Mirabelle who loves art but prefers to be backstage rather than centre stage.   I know she can be shy about putting herself out there.  She’s got a few years to go until she’s ready to go full steam ahead, and I’m hoping she will take on my tips!

My daughter, Mirabelle prefers being behind the camera!

I love sharing my tips and experience with graduates,  I hate wasted talent. If I can help, I will. 

So, I met Stew and his daughter, Alice and I was shocked by what I heard.  Alice shares all these amazing projects she’s worked on at college and all the fantastic performances she’s won prizes for at such a young age. Alice is awesome.

She goes on to tell me about the videos she’d love to make, the dances she’s already choreographing.  She can act, sing, dance – she’s a triple threat.

She tells me …

“I’ve got 8 projects I could start, but they’re NOT going to be good enough (I’m too young and inexperienced) so I’m NOT going to actually create them seriously, I’m waiting for a break.”

“Wow” I think, that is perfectly understandable, however, it’s an example of perfectionism taking over and crippling her and her career.

TIP - If you don’t think your “work” isn’t going to be good enough…my advice?

Do it anyway. 

Remember the Susan Jeffers book?  “Feel the fear and do it anyway”

Alice tells me she’s

 “Waiting for a break.  She’s waiting for a good/useful contact in the industry to help get her an agent or for someone to spot her and cast her in something professional”

I can also understand why you’d think you need someone with power and industry knowledge to help you …, however.

My Advice to your daughter (or son, or young people in your team).

DON’T WAIT!

Whatever you do, don’t wait to “BE PICKED” by someone else.

I say to Alice,

“Please, go ahead,  get started with your own projects, or shadow someone for nothing… and throw yourself into it!”

You may have heard my many war stories of getting into the BBC – I was a work experience assistant on “Between the Lines,” the drama with Neil Person (love him, he’s the purvey boss in Bridget Jones's diary). I was on set from 6 am to 7 pm 6 days a week, and I wasn’t even being paid. 

I loved it!  

However, looking back I wish I’d also pursued more of my own projects. (I once directed a play at the White Bear Theatre in Kennington, South London called “Trapped in a Polythene Bag!”. Hmm, yes I know!)

I also clocked up 100s of celebrity interviews for Virgin Radio (like Lenny Kravitz) when I was being paid one sandwich per day!

My brother used to say (in a caring way) “What are you doing that for? You’re not even earning any money?”

Ok, I did work a lot for nothing – however..

I learnt EVERYTHING I possibly could by being in the right place at the right time. 

By the way, I worked 3 other jobs at evenings and weekends to pay for my non-paid experience! 

My advice? If you want to get into the media, performance art, or any profession for that matter.  Just start. Just do it. 

Do it for free, do it for yourself,  do it with friends, start your own YouTube channel, film yourself, write a script (yes, even if it’s crap).

I set Alice a challenge. I ask her to pick 1 of her 8 possible projects and DO IT, and DO It BADLY, make an absolute rubbish video with terrible choreography so you can LEARN from your failure.

My advice – STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT!  Be 80% Perfect and give it a go.  You need to invest time and energy in YOURSELF.  Don’t leave your career up to someone else.  Don’t wait to “be picked”.

It’s YOUR responsibility to move yourself forward in your career and if that means you put on a terrible play – DO IT.

These days you can buy cheapo lights, cameras, and you can blag a performance space for free. DO IT and don’t let perfectionism force you into crippling procrastination.

Yes, all industries are hard to break into.  That’s the harsh truth. 

You’ve got to be willing to try and fail.  And this isn’t exclusive to the ‘media’ industry.

If you have talent – don’t squander it and wait to be seen.  How is anyone going to see you if you’re not ACTIVE?

Tell you daughter (and I will tell mine).  Take Action! Don’t be perfect.

You can help your daughter or the young women (& men) in your life by gifting them a membership to my 80% Perfect Club – designed to help people young and old, people like Alice, to make progress rather than block themselves before they’ve tried to move forward.

Check out the 80% Perfect Club here! A fun and affordable confidence coaching program with tons of amazing resources, exercises, and nudges to help you move past the perfectionism blockers.
Click here and fill out the billing info for £0.00.  You save £20.  And you can unsubscribe at any time.

If you want to chat about gift membership or multiple membership for your team – give me a shout, I’d love to help esther@estherstanhope.com