No Jazz Hands Please
Tip – If you don’t “DO” jazz hands, don’t. It’s ok, you NEVER need to pretend to be outgoing if you are not that type of person. Be chill. Be yourself. If everyone was extra-extrovert (like me) the world would explode.
“I don’t DO jazz hands”.
My client, Tash, tells me with a completely straight face.
I could choose to take this as an insult, because, well, look at my body language above - oops. I don’t take offence.
However, I probably have displayed jazz hands tendencies (tongue in cheek of course). To be honest I don’t LOVE jazz hands myself and I do try and avoid them as much as possible.
As my teenaged daughter would say. You’ve got to be careful not to be a “pick me” or a “try hard” (they are a thing).
However, my advice to Tash, and my advice to you, having worked with every ‘type’ of person there is…
Don’t do jazz hands if you’re not that way inclined!
Don’t hate people who do, as they are probably trying (too hard) to be liked.
JH only last a few seconds.
There are plenty of alternative ways to grab attention without JH.
You can be engaging without JH.
You can be colourful, interesting and charismatic without JH.
JH are not essential to exude energy and/or charisma.
JH are not needed.
So really, don’t sweat it.
However. Turns out Jazz hands aren’t the enemy here.
What’s the real truth behind the
“I don’t do jazz hands” comment?
The truth is. Jazz hands are a bit of a distraction to what’s really going on with Tash. Phew, (I realise it isn’t a criticism of me personally, it isn’t about my potentially annoying drama-queen, over the top style!)
Later she confesses that she is really frustrated and annoyed at the “people” in her office (she works for a global organisation in tech). Turns out she resents the people who seem to be on the outside; all smiles, outgoing, overly confident , optimistic and happy.
She admits that she’s built up resentment over a period of time because she’s not being seen and heard in meetings. She has a very responsible job and should be on the ladder to success. However, she’s not up for the whole “putting on an act” and pretending to be “light and laughter”.
The loud and brash show-offs are the ones getting recognition for work Tash is doing behind the scenes. Tash has set up some super-efficient processes that are transforming the working environment.
However, in meetings, Tash is quiet, humble (maybe a little moody). And the JH people are raving about the great new ideas.
And guess what? The boss is impressed with this amazing new system that everyone is raving about. And guess what? The boss responds to the jazz hands/big mouth/ gobby brigade and shows her appreciation by recognising their “fantastic” work.
Meanwhile, Tash is seething in the corner, glum faced feeling bitter and twisted about her super-duper, clever and brilliant ideas that are getting sullied and degraded by these annoying extroverts.
“They are soooooo irritating”.
she tells me.
“They blurt out anything that comes into their tiny little brains, no thought, no strategy, just verbal diarrhoea…they talk sh*t”.
I tell her the Americans call this “verbal leakage”.
Can you relate to Tash?
Perhaps you are the brains or the hero behind the brilliant ideas, but jazz hands are getting the praise?
Do you find yourself, like Tash, building up resentment and even going in a mood in meetings because you think;
“What’s the bl**dy point, no one listens to me, they talk over each other, they only care about the sound of their own voice, their ego and getting recognition from the boss, I might as well shut up and let them take over – I’ll NEVER get a word in edgeways.”
Yes, I feel Tash’s pain too. It’s SO UNFAIR!
Why are the good ones being overlooked, why are the gobby ones being recognised for work they don’t even DO. They don’t even know how to articulate it PROPERLY!
My Tash Tips…
Be more visible.
Don’t get mad get even.
Decide NOW to take the lead and OWN your work.
Learn speaking skills that suit YOUR personality & start SPEAKING and being seen and heard..a lot.
Start sharing your knowledge and material wherever you can.
Yes.
Don’t get mad , get even. Start by oozing POSITIVITY (not negative vibes)
Be generous. Compliment your fellow jazz hand workers. Tell them they are brilliant and then share your ideas in a more public forum, so you have many witnesses to your brilliant thoughts . Create airtime for yourself to be the person at the front of the room. Set yourself up. It could be a ‘best practice’ type seminar, or a slot in your town hall meeting.
Introverts make much better public speakers than extroverts anyway. (More on that another time)
Introverts are more likely to THINK THINGS THROUGH and research the juicy stuff than the gobby ones. Often they can’t be bothered to analyse or prepare, they’re too busy trying to shout about it.
Above all though.
Stop resenting and giving in.
Start being more visible.
Guess what. Jazz hands are probably way more insecure than you.
People who move around a lot physically with their body language have way less gravitas than the still quiet ones who have a good solid grounding. They are less likely to wobble, literally and lose control.
Stop the rot.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Start to lead.
You’ve got a lot to share, it’s your responsibly to share your knowledge and make sure the good ideas come to fruition.
If you are the ideas instigator, you are the best person to share these ideas with the rest of the world.
Get yourself skilled up.
Give me a call esther@estherstanhope.com I’d love to help. And I’d love to hear how you are getting on with being more visibly brilliant.
I help 1000s of leaders, like Tash to be visibly brilliant, not just technically brilliant – that’s what my book “Visibly Brilliant” is all about. I can’t wait to share my ‘how to…’ tips with you.
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