How Many Frogs Are You Kissing to Win Business?

My client was a classic frog kisser!

“I’m pretty good at winning new business, in fact nearly all my B.D (business development) is done by word of mouth, I’d say 99% of my new business is done by meeting people face to face”

My rather confident client, “Mr. T” revealed this to me the other month.  This is great to hear.  And I’m not surprised that he is successful at winning business. He’s charming, outgoing, good with people, funny and captivating, so what’s the problem?  

I was there, in the London HQ to coach him for a conference he was trying to wriggle out of.  Essentially, like many extroverts, HE HATES PUBLIC SPEAKING.   He was preparing for a 20-minute slot, but he was already having sleepless nights over it.  

He tried avoidance…

“Why do I need to speak in front of an audience?  I’m finding it hard to see the benefit….I think it’s going to be awful, I’m terrible at it, I feel like a robot when I speak in public, I can’t sleep, my wife is getting really fed up with my complaining, I HATE IT.”

You know the type (I used to be just like this); good at chit chat, working a room, getting on with people and not so good at the more formal ‘speech’ situation where there’s no ‘conversation’ or easy rapport.  I used to be awful at public speaking with all eyes on me, even as a BBC producer I stayed away from the spotlight.

I would describe Mr T as a charming charismatic frog kisser.  The only problem? He’s having to kiss too many individual frogs, one frog at a time.  

I.E – you need to kiss lots of frogs for one of them to turn into a prince (business).

I could identify with Mr T, as I used to rely on my chit chat and my ‘charming’ personality to win clients.  I used to rely on my past experience at the BBC to captivate my audience, but my audiences used to be small groups.  

And then a few years ago I learnt a very useful lesson that turned my life, and my business around.  An older, more experienced business leader chap, let’s call him “Mr Pink”, shared his wisdom with me… 

“Ah yes Esther, you are kissing an awful lot of frogs, to win new business.  And you’re doing rather well.  However wouldn’t you like to kiss lots of frogs at the same time? ”

Huh?

What Mr Pink meant was very simple.  If you kiss 300 frogs at the same time, you’re more likely to get 100 times more success than if you kiss just 3 frogs in a meeting. 

I shared this with Mr T.  And he ask me…..

“How?  How do you multiply your frogs without working 24 hours a day 7 days a week? How do you kiss 300 frogs at the same time?”

This little S-word filled him with dread… however it’s a game changer for business…

“Speak”

He looked sick again.  

“Stand up and speak at conferences, at client events, on panels, awaydays, off-sites,  informal seminars, drinks evenings, webinars, podcasts….anywhere you can possibly think of……SPEAK and share your stories ”

“But I HATE public speaking with a passion, I feel like a robot”  he looked a bit angry because the penny had dropped.  He knew he had to learn to stand up and speak in public.

I persuaded him..

“Just by speaking at this conference – you’re kissing 300 frogs because this is your chance to wow 300 people at the same time” 

He was interested.  But he didn’t feel he could be ‘charming’ in the same way he could be with just 3 people.  That’s a common fear that you’re authentic charming self won’t come through in front of a large audience.  However, unless you practice you’ll never learn. 

When you get the hang of speaking in front of a larger audience, when you feel comfortable to be yourself; chatty, funny, charming, confident, that’s the most powerful tool ever.   Imagine a glossy all singing all dancing conference full of industry experts, colleagues and competitors, this is the perfect environment to be visible, attract more frogs (clients) win more business and turn them into princes. What’s not to like?

I told him….

“Imagine going to the bar afterwards and having 100 people coming up to chat to you, asking you questions and wanting to get their paws on your beautiful double-sided luxe business card? Wouldn’t it be nice to attract business rather than chase it?

At that moment Mr T decided to stop fighting his public speaking anxiety and trust me to make him brilliant at it.  And guess what? He did, and he nailed it.  He took all my speaking advice and read my book of course.  So can you.

So whether you’re a chatty Mr. T type, a Partner at a law firm, a business leader or you simply want to be more visible within your organisation, speak up and learn to speak WELL!  Yes, it does feel scary at first, but the more you do it, the better you get.

That’s why I wrote my handy book full of tips and strategies ‘Goodbye Glossophobia – Banish Your Fear of Public Speaking” it’s only £14.99 or less if you buy in bulk (email me for a VIP discount esther@estherstanhope.com if you want to buy copied for your team!)

And when you’ve mastered the art of public speaking, you’ll be kissing frogs all over the world. 

Happy kissing. 

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