Shoes and Confidence!
As you may know I LOVE shoes.
I love: shoots (shoe boots), brogues, stilettos, chunkies, flatforms, platforms, Cowboy boots, trainers, ballet pumps and everything in between.
TIP – If you want to feel at the top of your game, wear a decent pair of shoes. Heads up – do the “plant” test – if you can jump 2 inches in the air and land without wobbling or tottering – you’re officially shoe-confident and ready to roll!
What I love about shoes is they really can make you feel more confident. Many of my clients talk about their go-to pair for a presentation, pitch or panel interview.
As Marilyn Monroe famously said…
Confident shoes apply to men too!
I’d love to know your go-to confidence-boosting shoes. Zoom or in the room – do they make you feel better than when you’re wearing crocs? (please email me with your tips and pics esther@estherstanhope.com)
I particularly like Ges Ray’s festive and bright brogues – how very cool!
Ges says shoes give him confidence and he has a few go-to pairs that give him the edge.
My tip is to wear really cool shoes that spark joy in you (thank you, Marie Kondo). Make sure they are ‘nearly’ new, not straight from the box. Brand new can be a risk as my expert stylist Natasha Musson explains below.
When my clients talk about shoes and confidence, (and we often get onto that topic) I take a keen interest.
One client told me recently she HAS to wear heels or platforms even on her TEAMs calls, it makes her feel more confident, gives her height and helps her feel more powerful.
All together now – strike the Power POSE!
It’s all about the way you feel. Do your shoes make you FEEL good?
A frequent comment I hear is “please can we invent the ultimate posh trainer that’s suitable for the boardroom?”
Another of my clients works at the FCA (Financial Conduct Authority) and he loves their “dress for your day!” policy – where you are encouraged to wear clothes for comfort. Bring on the New Balance!
Deloitte’s “Flexi-dress scheme” also means you can wear jeans and trainers when not in formal meetings. I remember turning up one ‘dress down Friday’ in a smart dress and heels and the Director group I was coaching that day asked me if I’d won an award or something.
One managing partner of an international law firm was wearing a pair of expensive chunky lace up biker-boots the other week when I was hosting an event. I commented on them as they looked VERY un-lawyerish.
“Oops” she confessed
“I‘m not meant to be wearing these, my proper court shoes are upstairs…but these are just so comfortable I find it hard to take them off”
I know, I know I’m with her. Why wear uncomfortable shoes that hurt your lower back and crush your toes? I personally feel unconfident if my feet are bothering me.
However, I can take a bit of pain for short periods of time.
For example, my low-mileage heels are fine if I’m presenting on a solid stage. Beware, I’ve heard horror stories of stilettos getting stuck in the floor…
Where do you stand on the stylish, feel-good, smart and comfy spectrum?
What are your “speaking shoes” of choice – you know, when you have to stand up on stage or host a seminar?
There are some pretty fancy ones out there – like the famous Russell & Bromley Flatforms.
Too-Trainer-ish? (in the US you call them sneakers!)
Do you remember the flatform shoe drama?
High-flying businesswoman, Lisa Gordon (see her in the Sunday Times below left) wore the famous £195 flatforms at the City Club in London only to be sentenced to the “kitchen” seats because they were against the dress code!
Russell & Bromley’s flatform in the city story…
Does your office allow flatforms? At £195 are Russell and Bromley’s smart enough for a client meeting?
Thank you for sending me images and comments about your footwear – keep them coming esther@estherstanhope.com
Shoes and Confidence - The Expert’s Verdict
“The wrong shoes will tip (literally!) you and your style over the edge.
To be stylish you have to be comfortable and if you aren’t comfortable walking into the room wearing the right shoe for 'you' - you won’t ‘feel’ stylish, comfortable or confident.
Shoes can make or break an outfit.
They need to be considered very carefully - not just thrown on at the last minute. People will look at your shoes!! You can tell a lot about a person in the shoes they are wearing.
You can use shoes in so many ways to lift your confidence.
1. Add personality to your shoes. You may be a little shy about wearing a bold colour or print on your body…but adding some showstoppers shoes on your feet it’s a perfect way to say, ‘I love a bit of leopard print’ or ‘check out my new patent Mary Janes!’ It is a great way to give a hint of who you are inside.
2. New shoes will update your style each season and stop your style from looking stale. You’ll be a confident modern dresser with this season’s platforms or metallic gold boots styled with last year’s black suit.
3. If you are small, shoes will give you confidence. My 5ft 2 frame certainly need it when I stand in a room, an extra inch will allow you to feel empowered and that little more elegant. The right heel will allow you to stand tall and your posture will improve.
Getting the RIGHT shoe to match the style of your outfit is SOOOOOO important. Balance is everything. Combining the style/weight/colour of your shoe to suit the shape/print/style of your outfit is key.
Personally, if I am speaking at an event I would consider new shoes over a new outfit. I like to wear an old favourite suit or dress, but the shoes will add that oomph to my style. But they have to have the ‘can I strut my stuff?’ test.
Walking, talking and doing everything you want to do with ease. If you can feel a pinch, a blister or a little wobble they will kill your confidence.
TIP - Practice walking, cooking & talking in your kitchen with your new shoes on before you take them out-out to that event.”
Natasha’s quick fix shoe guide..
Stilettos. So, is it still only stilettos in the city ? - hell no! But I guess for the city there needs to be an air of elegance, but it doesn’t have to be super skinny high heels.
Ballerinas. For more business casual days - the leather ballerina is back! Styled with a straight-leg trousers suit this is super Parisian cool.
Loafers. For a more masculine wide-leg trouser suit, go for a patent loafer - I love a shiny smart loafer with a trouser suit!
Court shoes will never leave us but try to be more adventurous with colour, texture and cut. Snakeskin goes with everything, navy patent is uber classic but try going for a modern take on the classic court with angular cutouts and diagonal heels. Or a mix of two colours to match your clothes?
Trainers? (Sneakers) Yes with a wide-leg trouser suit but make sure they are POSH leather trainers …make sure they coordinate with your entire outfit so they flow with it. Mostly white ones work - treat them as a posh work shoe NOT a trainer.
Natasha’s picks…
Olivia James – Performance and Confidence Coach (she’s brilliant)
If you’ve spent the pandemic working from home in your cosy sheepskin slippers it can be a shock squeezing back into your high heels or stiff brogues. But post-covid many of us want to be comfortable.
Many of us are waging a daily inner battle when planning what to wear. It reminds of the angels sitting on your left and right shoulder. One wants physical comfort, and the other is ambitious.
Ultimately, confidence is about your opinion of yourself, and your shoes are a small part of the professional image you project. Trust yourself and get out there and do your thing!”
Olivia goes for -
Olivia was also featured in a funny article about Zoom footwear during lockdown! Click here to read the full piece in TheNextWeb.com
In conclusion
Shoes DO give you confidence!
When you need to stand up and speak with confidence – start with your FEET!
We want MORE trainer-like smart shoes to wear all day (high mileage)
We want stylist & comfort – loafers are IN
Stilettos are no longer the go-to. Heels are getting lower and wider!
Trainers rock on the commute and in ‘Flexi-dressing’ offices. Leather & smart please!
P.S
Keep your shoe stories, images, and confessions coming (hmmm 20 pairs of shoes in the office closest to Nicky!)
What is YOUR go-to confidence-boosting pair of shoes?
Please email me – esther@estherstanhope.com or hit reply. LOL, I’d love to hear from you.